we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
