Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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