just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
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I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
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I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize