I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
