He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
