I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
