i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
