he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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