remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
