I cannot find my penis.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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