none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
