Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
