Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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