Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
