you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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