i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize