ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He? As in you personified your dick?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize