My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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