im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
