is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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