Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
