You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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