hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Where did you get a picture of my penis
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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