Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
