His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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