Screwed.edu
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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