Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
