So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
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I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
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If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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