how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm experimenting with sincerity
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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