What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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