so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
