One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
