Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize