just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize
