Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
