His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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