I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
