also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
