I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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