Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize