I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
