Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
