He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
ttyl tear gas
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
my nose is crying tears of wow.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
