Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
