I swear she didn't look like that last week.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
