yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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