using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
