i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
