hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
