How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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