I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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