she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
This toilet bowl is my home.
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