He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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