You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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