I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
