I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
