If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
