She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
