Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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