I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
