Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
