I want to walk on stilts...naked
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
